This series of eight posts is taken from a presentation on Clergy Wellness that was cancelled due to Covid-19 lockdowns. Maybe I'll get to present it live one day, but in the meantime I decided to post some sections of it more widely. The series as whole is called Wellness in Ministry and naturally some aspects are specific to vocational ministry. However much is applicable to anyone concerned to sustain their wellbeing physically, mentally socially and spiritually. The first post was published in March 2022.
Supervision - a reflective practice
We've looked at how mental wellbeing is enhanced by mindfulness, embracing stress, and time wisdom. Ministry Supervision is a fourth resource - a formative tool that helps people in pastoral ministry reflect on their work in a regular, self-review exercise that complements other means of self-awareness and accountability. I believe it is essential for ministers to have at least one person with whom they can honestly reflect on themselves, and who can ask the tough questions of “why? what's going on inside? what's driving this?” Good habits of supervision are usually mandatory for clergy these days, and have been shown to enhance job satisfaction. We as pastoral leaders get to monitor our responses, manage our workload and respond to dysfunctional habits we have overlooked. I recently read a British priest confess that as he became a senior priest, "There was a self sufficiency that bordered on arrogance." Supervision helped him gain a healthier perspective. In Supervision we take the space and time, with some guidance, to step back and take a helicopter perspective on all we are carrying. The theory behind pastoral supervision names four tasks:
• affirmative – to build up the person in ministry, and even when challenge in needed, it is offered in love and with the purpose of being constructive
• restorative – the client has a safe place to let rip, be inappropriate, and allow stifled anger or sadness show. They can let out the toxins that could otherwise pollute ministry situations.
• formative – supervision is also a discipleship opportunity, where we learn to integrate faith, life and ministry
• normative – issues of professional boundaries and Kingdom values; in some churches this is handled by someone other than the pastoral supervisor.
Supervision may also help us identify one of the uninvited guests – depression or addiction – and to access professional help. Remember that question in the first post– "are you enjoying?" If not, you are possibly suffering from a form of depression. Sometimes it emanates from within you, because there’s an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Sometimes it’s a reaction to events and tensions around you, Either way you need support. Medication has its place, especially in correcting a lack of the deep sleep that’s needed to refresh. But cognitive therapy also very effective, using positive thought patterns and truth coaches to overcome the lies and half-truths that can assail our thinking.
Nick Helm, the English priest I mentioned earlier, writes of hitting the wall in his first ministry role:
I had reached the limits of my personal resources. Was I expected simply to soldier on? Where could I turn to? What sort of support did I need?
Would I be showing weakness that would be held against me in the future?
What if the person I turned to did more harm than good?
He says these concerns delayed his acting to find the support he needed, but that over time he has learned to access help from a range of professionals. This resonated with me – I realised that over my nearly fifty years since ordination I have experienced spiritual direction 5 years, psychotherapy 3 months, supervision 30 years, support groups 6 years, and ministerial review 3 times (not enough! I wrote a thesis about that). I have a trusted woman doctor. Each in its own way has helped and enhanced my ministry. More than one will be necessary over your ministry journey. But good supervision is generally where it starts.
How does it work? The supervisor normally ask the supervisee to set the agenda, and simply act as a ‘wise listener’ in a conversation that reflects on questions that have been raised in the client's mind that month. These might include difficulties in relationships with parishioners or colleagues, sad or vexing pastoral situations, leadership dilemmas, and boundary issues. Sometimes when I act as a clergy supervisor, I am the only person with whom these concerns can be shared. Because we meet outside the sphere of the local church or chaplaincy, and because the conversations are utterly confidential, together we can engage in reflection that helps keep the minister and their pastoral practice safe. I help the supervisee explore options, build on their strengths, and move on from their mistakes. Supervision can help you develop resilience to deal with ministry issues more readily.
So mental wellness is about how we think, feel and communicate. Its a fourth useful ingredient to sustain your mental wellbeing.
Here's a brief prescription for when you realise your soul is languishing:
- Take 10 minutes for mindfulness
- Treat yourself to good coffee, a walk or a special piece of music
- Start a gratitude wall. Cheerfulness and optimism is often a matter of temperament, but we can always practise thankfulness. Focusing on God’s love and being grateful for God’s peace literally slows our racing hearts.
- Give a compliment or a random act of kindness. These practices shift the perspective and enable us to befriend stress.
- Go to supervision!
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