This post is part of a series prepared for Holy Week 2020, when our spiritual responses to the somber Lenten readings are tempered by emotions rising to the surface as we continue in Lockdown in New Zealand.
My series of Holy Week devotions, focussing each day on a particular emotion, turns this last time to consider Abandonment; Monday was Anger, Tuesday Ambivalence, and Wednesday Anxiety.
Thursday: Abandonment – and Peace, the parting gift
Writing about Maundy Thursday – the night before Good Friday – has brought to mind a trek that I did in October 2000, in Jerusalem. Starting in Bethany, we remembered the raising of Lazarus and his home with Martha and Mary. Then we walked, up the hill and down again, several kilometres to the Old City. We walked through the Jewish graveyard to an olive grove on the western slope of the Mount of Olives. This is said to be the Garden of Gethsemane and certainly the trees there are millennia old. We visited the Grotto that marks the place where Jesus wrestled and prayed while his disciples slept.( Matt 26: 40).We recalled how he receive the “Judas kiss”, and was arrested by Roman soldiers and Temple guards (John 18:3, 12). Later we crossed the highway and enter the Old City to visit the Cenacle, the upstairs room that tradition says is the location of the Last Supper (Matt 26: 26ff). None of these sites can be easily proven 2000 years later, but we do know that Christians have venerated then in worship and sacrament for many centuries, and we found there a sense of awe and the real presence of God. It was a night to remember.
Many Christians take the view that the meal Jesus shared was the actual Passover feast. That is problematic because it seems there were two dates for Passover, neither of which fit with the Thursday night. However, Passover was a whole week of celebrations, so a Passover theme would have dominated whether the Jewish solar calendar was followed, or the date was the one used by the Essene sect. You’ll recall from yesterday that this large group of pious Jews had influenced many of Jesus’ friends. I mention the Essenes again because of the water-carrying man. Jesus told the disciples setting up the evening meal to look for a man with a pitcher of water. (Luke 22: 10 – 12). Men didn’t usually carry water, but the monastic Essenes would need to, for their frequent ritual baths. So it is quite possible that the Upper Room belonged to the Essenes who lived in that part of the City; all citizens were expected to accommodate visiting pilgrims during Passover. The fact that the gospels do not mention women or children, or roast lamb, fits with the notion that this ascetic celibate group were the hosts for the meal.
There are many themes we could follow as we prepare for the deadly events of tomorrow, but following up my three earlier alliterative emotions Anger, Ambivalence and Anxiety, I’ve chosen Abandonment. Jesus' last days on earth contained much loneliness. His disciples fell asleep and then ran away. He felt isolated and abandoned. The joy with which he had been received just days earlier was short-lived. In honesty, we too might have abandoned him. Even the avowedly loyal Peter denied him not once but three times (John 18). And his followers themselves were to experience a deep sense of abandonment after his arrest and crucifixion.
To be fair Jesus warned them of this. John doesn’t record the Last Supper, just the Foot Washing, but he tells us in great detail what Jesus spoke about that evening. The reality that he was soon leaving them was key to all he said. Here are some excerpts from that discourse:
Dear children, I will be with you only a little longer ….. I am going away, but I will come back to you again. …. I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you. …In a little while you won’t see me anymore. But a little while after that, you will see me again. … we will come and make our home with (you)….. you grieve because of what I’ve told you. But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Counsellor won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you …. the Counsellor - that is, the Holy Spirit - will teach you …and remind you of everything I have told you. … he will guide you into all truth….I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid….. 12 “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now.
What reassurance in face of being “left behind”! All is not as it will seem, but its not easy for them to grasp. The almighty Triune God will continue to love them and teach them and use them for his mission, but things will be different.
In April 2020, as we face the reality that the world is, and will continue to be, changing, we may feel abandoned and alone. In a physical sense, because all our usual markers of time and place are disrupted, we aren’t going to work or to church, we cannot see wider family or
friends. In some cases, spouses under extreme stress or worry about their job or business or kids may withdraw, in an emotional abandonment which could be devastating. But we are also vulnerable to a spiritual sense of abandonment. Our prayers may feel stale, our souls dry, our hearts lonely. We wonder with anger, anxiety and ambivalence what is happening in our world and whether God is doing anything about it. David felt like this often, and Paul too complained of unanswered prayers. Tomorrow is Good Friday, and we will again remember the agony of the Cross that caused Jesus to cry out to the Father using words from Psalm 22 – “My God, why have you forsaken/abandoned me?” Its good to remember that in the authentic humanity of that moment, Jesus was not at all sure that things would turn out for the best.
We aren’t sure either – and its good to talk about those feelings. It’s good to identify what makes us feel lonely and afraid, and possibily to link that back to times of abandonment in earlier times, eg a parent leaving the family home, death of a sibling, betrayal by a close friend. If we can name those formative emotional experiences, it helps us understand why the ripples of emotional pain during Lockdown are stronger for some than for others. But even if we can't relate to something from childhood, its normal to feel abandoned in the midst of radical and unprecedented change.
As we approach the end of a difficult week of faith, we find Holy Week, then and now, poses more questions than answers. Even the answer we will celebrate on Sunday is one that the disciples took weeks to grasp.
Let’s be gentle on ourselves – and our families – and seek signs of quiet reassurance as we cling on to the promise
A Note to Parents
The notion of abandonment is probably too dark for you to dig into with your kids.
Instead talk about loneliness, and how they are missing their friends and teachers, perhaps grandparents. Older kids and teens especially will be missing the peer groups that are a pivotal part of their adolescent experience of individuation. Just as they are figuring out how to form friendships with deeper roots, how to provide support to their friends, and how to deal with betrayal, everything is put on hold. These dynamics of friendship are difficult to replicate over screens, and social distancing has put many possibilities beyond us.
However I understand teens are adapting to the new social rules, hosting FaceTime sleepovers, long video chats, watching movies as a group through Netflix Party, and gathering virtually on social networks like Houseparty. Support them in this, and continue to be the safe harbour they can return to after voyaging into the deep with others.
This promise is for everyone:
Thursday: Abandonment – and Peace, the parting gift
Writing about Maundy Thursday – the night before Good Friday – has brought to mind a trek that I did in October 2000, in Jerusalem. Starting in Bethany, we remembered the raising of Lazarus and his home with Martha and Mary. Then we walked, up the hill and down again, several kilometres to the Old City. We walked through the Jewish graveyard to an olive grove on the western slope of the Mount of Olives. This is said to be the Garden of Gethsemane and certainly the trees there are millennia old. We visited the Grotto that marks the place where Jesus wrestled and prayed while his disciples slept.( Matt 26: 40).We recalled how he receive the “Judas kiss”, and was arrested by Roman soldiers and Temple guards (John 18:3, 12). Later we crossed the highway and enter the Old City to visit the Cenacle, the upstairs room that tradition says is the location of the Last Supper (Matt 26: 26ff). None of these sites can be easily proven 2000 years later, but we do know that Christians have venerated then in worship and sacrament for many centuries, and we found there a sense of awe and the real presence of God. It was a night to remember.
Many Christians take the view that the meal Jesus shared was the actual Passover feast. That is problematic because it seems there were two dates for Passover, neither of which fit with the Thursday night. However, Passover was a whole week of celebrations, so a Passover theme would have dominated whether the Jewish solar calendar was followed, or the date was the one used by the Essene sect. You’ll recall from yesterday that this large group of pious Jews had influenced many of Jesus’ friends. I mention the Essenes again because of the water-carrying man. Jesus told the disciples setting up the evening meal to look for a man with a pitcher of water. (Luke 22: 10 – 12). Men didn’t usually carry water, but the monastic Essenes would need to, for their frequent ritual baths. So it is quite possible that the Upper Room belonged to the Essenes who lived in that part of the City; all citizens were expected to accommodate visiting pilgrims during Passover. The fact that the gospels do not mention women or children, or roast lamb, fits with the notion that this ascetic celibate group were the hosts for the meal.There are many themes we could follow as we prepare for the deadly events of tomorrow, but following up my three earlier alliterative emotions Anger, Ambivalence and Anxiety, I’ve chosen Abandonment. Jesus' last days on earth contained much loneliness. His disciples fell asleep and then ran away. He felt isolated and abandoned. The joy with which he had been received just days earlier was short-lived. In honesty, we too might have abandoned him. Even the avowedly loyal Peter denied him not once but three times (John 18). And his followers themselves were to experience a deep sense of abandonment after his arrest and crucifixion.
To be fair Jesus warned them of this. John doesn’t record the Last Supper, just the Foot Washing, but he tells us in great detail what Jesus spoke about that evening. The reality that he was soon leaving them was key to all he said. Here are some excerpts from that discourse:
Dear children, I will be with you only a little longer ….. I am going away, but I will come back to you again. …. I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you. …In a little while you won’t see me anymore. But a little while after that, you will see me again. … we will come and make our home with (you)….. you grieve because of what I’ve told you. But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Counsellor won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you …. the Counsellor - that is, the Holy Spirit - will teach you …and remind you of everything I have told you. … he will guide you into all truth….I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid….. 12 “There is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now.
(John 13: 33, 14: 18-19, 16: 16, 14: 23, 16: 6-7, 14: 26, 16: 13, 14: 27, 16: 12 NLT)
What reassurance in face of being “left behind”! All is not as it will seem, but its not easy for them to grasp. The almighty Triune God will continue to love them and teach them and use them for his mission, but things will be different.
In April 2020, as we face the reality that the world is, and will continue to be, changing, we may feel abandoned and alone. In a physical sense, because all our usual markers of time and place are disrupted, we aren’t going to work or to church, we cannot see wider family or
We aren’t sure either – and its good to talk about those feelings. It’s good to identify what makes us feel lonely and afraid, and possibily to link that back to times of abandonment in earlier times, eg a parent leaving the family home, death of a sibling, betrayal by a close friend. If we can name those formative emotional experiences, it helps us understand why the ripples of emotional pain during Lockdown are stronger for some than for others. But even if we can't relate to something from childhood, its normal to feel abandoned in the midst of radical and unprecedented change.
As we approach the end of a difficult week of faith, we find Holy Week, then and now, poses more questions than answers. Even the answer we will celebrate on Sunday is one that the disciples took weeks to grasp.
Let’s be gentle on ourselves – and our families – and seek signs of quiet reassurance as we cling on to the promise
“I will not abandon you.”
A Note to Parents
The notion of abandonment is probably too dark for you to dig into with your kids.
Instead talk about loneliness, and how they are missing their friends and teachers, perhaps grandparents. Older kids and teens especially will be missing the peer groups that are a pivotal part of their adolescent experience of individuation. Just as they are figuring out how to form friendships with deeper roots, how to provide support to their friends, and how to deal with betrayal, everything is put on hold. These dynamics of friendship are difficult to replicate over screens, and social distancing has put many possibilities beyond us. However I understand teens are adapting to the new social rules, hosting FaceTime sleepovers, long video chats, watching movies as a group through Netflix Party, and gathering virtually on social networks like Houseparty. Support them in this, and continue to be the safe harbour they can return to after voyaging into the deep with others.
This promise is for everyone:
“My parting gift to you is Peace.
I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left
—feeling abandoned, bereft.
So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught….. I’m coming back.”
(John 14: 27 – 28 MSG)
(John 14: 27 – 28 MSG)
Comments
Post a Comment