This is Part Five of a series of posts where I offer some thoughts on discipleship and mission using David Fitch’s framework of Seven Practices for the Church on Mission (IVF, 2018). This pocket version of his book Faithful Presence: Seven Disciplines, has provoked questions and responses I felt worth sharing. Fitch, a theological teacher and pastor in Chicago, notes that Jesus gave his disciples practices for opening themselves to his risen presence in our lives. “Presence is the way God works,” he says.
In response God’s people are called to “be present to his presence,” by which Fitch means to discern it and cooperate with it, living out the restored relationships of the Kingdom. God is faithfully present in our lives, and our response is to be faithfully present to him in the world.
The lives of children today often revolve around a series of certified programmes, where leaders must be tertiary-trained and police-vetted, and parents can bully kids into fulfilling their own dreams. Fitch says “their souls are pushed and pulled” as they long to know and be known, and to experience face-to-face presence. That presence is what Fitch has experiences with his ten-year old son as they have a weekly “breakfast-out,” connecting with one another in a technology-free encounter in which Fitch is convinced they both experience the presence of Jesus.
In Matthew 18: 1 – 10, when the disciples are jockeying for power, Jesus points to a child and says, this is the way the kingdom will work. Children, who had no status in the ancient world, will be the ones who have status in his kingdom. The words “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me” resonate with Jesus' parable about caring for the poor and needy (Matthew 25) covered in last week’s post. He uses the word welcome to point to patience, embrace, openness and genuineness - the posture of receiving someone into our presence with joy. Jesus says, when you do this with the child you enter the very Kingdom of God. And here he promises to be especially present with children, just as he did in the practices of reconciliation we looked at from Matthew 18. Fitch says “The stunning reality is that being with children is anIn both Matthew 18 and Luke 22, the disciples’ aspirations for status led to teachings reorienting their understanding of how the Kingdom of God works. They discover it is those who become humble, receptive, and wondering that enter the realm or rule of the Kingdom. And the stakes are high with valuing children and relishing their presence; the reference to being drowned with a millstone (v 6) implies it is a matter of life and death.
encounter with the living Christ.” (2018, p 84)
The early church took this to heart. The Christian faith community soon became renown for its work with children, who were otherwise treated as semi-human. When newborns, especially girls, were left to starve or sold for prostitution, believers adopted them into their homes and cared for them. And Paul's household codes (Eph 6) revolutionised family life; in a society where patriarchy ruled, the apostle called on children to honour their parents and adults not to exasperate their kids, in a countercultural space of mutual submission in the Lord.
The practice of guiding children has been a central facet of church life ever since. Today when a church is planted, one of the first tasks to which leaders pay heed is the children’s ministries. This was certainly true of my own church, just 25 years old, which attended to the children in its midst from the very first day. Churches today still believe in passing on the story of God in Christ to our children; it is a given that we will teach and model prayer, Bible and spirituality for our children. What is sometimes overlooked, says Fitch, is that Jesus becomes present in these relationships. As adults and children attend to each other, and to God, the kingdom is happening.
Fitch tells the story of his own 'Life on the Vine' faith community, where they decided to resist making children's ministry into a program and instead focus on "being with" children. Their kids grow up recognising Jesus not as a doctrine, but as someone who is present in their daily lives. They use Jerome Berryman's "Godly Play," an innovative approach based on inviting the spirit be present, telling the story slowly, allowing space for wondering and questions, and above all being present to God. They also asked every member to spend time with the children during their Bible story time, at least once every eight weeks. There was some pushback, and Fitch tells of one elder who contributed much to church life asking if he could opt out. The answer was No - and later this man said he had experienced amazing personal renewal through submitting to that discipline. When adults spend time with children, the space becomes sacred, not only transforming children's lives but the adults as well.
Its not surprising then that church has always viewed infant initiation as sacramental. But Fitch sees is as going much farther than baptism or dedication. He says Being With Children is a “social sacrament” (a notion worthy of further reflection) that brings the community together across the generations. Something deep and non-cognitive happens; James Fowler says this begins with primal faith, long before a baby has conscious experiences of religion.
Children's Ministry usually takes place in and around the church building. However the three circles we have looked at in previous posts still apply:
- We begin in the close circles of family life and faith community. Parents are 'With' children and then help them notice the presence of Christ among us. We need to affirm them and instil self-confidence. But Fitch warns of idolatry here - centring our lives so much around our children that faith becomes skewed. What we do need to do is let our kids know that there is a trusted place they can go when they have questions, struggles, doubts and confusions. They can then learn to trust Christ in the same way.
- Secondly, as we practise this habit in the dotted circle, neighbours can look in and see the Kingdom at work.
- In the wider community or half circle, parents have myriad opportunities to meet people outside the faith through their kids (play dates, birthday parties, dance lessons, sports teams). Being with children is an important way we both discern and bear witness to the Kingdom of God, and experience another mode of Faithful Presence where spaces might open up for healing.
The church today has struggled with this practice of Being With Children. It's so tempting to professionalise it and draft the kids out to their own programme at the start of the Sunday service. I am with Fitch in saying loud and clear we must resist extracting kids out of worship, and out of our lives. My own church endeavours to balance the kids need for age-appropriate teaching with the whole church’s need to Be With them - and as the volunteer coordinating children's ministries this year, I am privileged to wave this flag. We do need to find ways to help busy Christian parents come back to church, and to enable people not currently in families to experience this grace. I passionately believe that as we make space for adults to be with children, and for them to be with us, we will all experience Christ's Real Presence in profound ways.
To consider: For some decades I have been guided by the values and vision of the Presbyterian Church's Kids Friendly movement in New Zealand. How do you respond to these ideals?
- Churches welcoming, valuing, nurturing and celebrating children.
- Children experiencing the love of Christ as congregations relate to them and include them in every aspect of the faith community.
- Children using their gifts and ministering to us in our churches.
- Friendships between old and young flourishing, facilitated and encouraged.
- Churches filled with children and families every day of the week, experiencing the love of Christ as they are served by Christians.
- Well-trained and resourced children’s leaders being valued as ministers, included in strategic planning groups, prayed for, affirmed, encouraged and allowed to fly.
- A network of churches committed to ministering to children, sharing their experiences, resources and ideas and encouraging each other.
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